i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
