no. you can't hotbox the world.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
