Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
