I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
well you can't waste a boner
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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