He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
