I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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