She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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