Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
