I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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