I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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