She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
