idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
