Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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