Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
