Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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