I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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