So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
