Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
