thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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