I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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