WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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