youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
