if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
