So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
