You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
