I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
