Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
People in love make me want to vomit
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
