you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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