Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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