none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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