oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize