Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
