Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize