she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize