yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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