i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
