things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
