I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
