This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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