So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The air was thick with penises
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
