But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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