Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
