hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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