I've blown a few things in my day
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
