Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
