I wish i was in the wii world.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
