Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
