trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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