Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
