smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
