i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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