he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
