He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
