im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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