so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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