that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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