Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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