these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
