You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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