There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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